theCHIVE
Chive Shirts and Apparel – Comfortable Giftwrapping For Your Naughty Bits and More
We know you’re out there, spotting window decals and KCCO stickers, attempting to track down fellow Chivers. Let’s be honest, you should never leave the house without wearing one of our classic shirts because flashing your Chive gear is the single best way to make sure fellow Chivers can spot you in the wild.
Expect to catch the attention of those who don’t yet get KCCO. You’ll know ‘em when you see ‘em; Un-Chivers… the unconverted… they have that look like they’re still trying to work out the word problem that stumped them in 6th grade math. They’ve spotted Chive shirts and stickers before and have yet to figure it out.
They’re not all lost, though. This is your opportunity to step up.
Whether you’re donning the Pink Nation shirts, hoods, the traditional KCCO tee, or American as Fuck shirt, you’re guaranteed to bring them over to the DARK Side.
Chive clothing isn’t just fabric to hide your bewbs and tribal tattoos (we’re not judging). It’s your armor. It’s your standard. Consider it your marching orders to go forth and use what your Chive shirts represent to forcibly inject epic randomness into the life of at least one stranger.
Do it with words or do it by literally gripping the baby-soft skin of their mislead cheeks and smear their face across the chest of your Chive apparel. Physically immerse them. Bear hug them. Let them feel the super smooth, soft-woven, superior textile power of the Chive mingled with the scent of winning.
Because winners made this super-soft perfect-fit chive apparel right here in the motherfuckin’ USA and winners wear this shit proudly.
Because winners want to wear the most comfortable clothing while they show off their love for #KCCO.
Because you’re a winner, and you make this shit look good.
Or you could, if you’d stop reading and just buy a damn shirt already.
Put Your Body In A Chive Shirt
Got tatas and curves? We’ve got classic Chive tees for ladies, hoodies, and even some sweatpants for the days where you make like you’re going to the gym but you’re really just going to binge The Office for the gazillionth time.
Got a junk-stick? Our line of Chive apparel includes plenty of outerwear for men, Chive shirts and tanks, and everything you need to confess you love of Bill F*ckin Murray.
Got something else that makes you Dragonkin or something like that?
Breath fire, fart rainbows - we don’t care.
With everything from our famous Keep Calm and Chive On apparel to funny graphic tees we’ve literally got you covered, fam.
(there are old people already wearing some of this inappropriate stuff. You’ve got some catching up to do.)